Get This Shirt. Drinking is a science. An artform. A safe haven for your mind when the bad voices start to get too loud. I don’t make the rules, I just get punched in the nuts by them.
Who’s keeping score anyway? I’ll tell you. Everyone! That’s who!
Life on the edge ain’t all broccoli puree and avocado toast. Some of us have stuff to deal with. Complicated stuff. Intricate mazes of weird, not actual, uncles and aggressively friendly stepdads.
This ain’t Obama’s America anymore mutherfuckers. Don’t judge me. It might be you on these chutes and ladders one day. Til then, Yahtzee, bitches!